"Life's about changes, nothing ever stays the same."

Patty Loveless

Before this introduction gets underway, I must explain that I have only ever known three homes since birth, so please note that I'm not putting myself forward as an expert in the 'moving business'. My job as a community psychiatric nurse for the elderly places me in situations were colleagues and I witness a continual stream of sudden moves each with varying degrees of success, some of which are disasters.

The effects range from:

Being 'upset' at having moved at behest of family. Missing the old place, friends, community, not settling.	Mild confusion following a move	Mild Depression following a move
Serious family conflict/relationship problems following/or during a move. Sense of betrayal.	Serious disorientation following a move	Feeling suicidal due to legal, relationship, mental health problems arising from finding a new home, having sold previous home.

If -
	Then in-between moves we are very vulnerable.

"There'll be less travelling for a kick-off";

"more contact";

"better able to care";

It is widely accepted that moving house is one of the most stressful events that we face in our lives, not far removed from death of a loved one, divorce, or having to serve a jail sentence.

If this is so (for thirty-somethings at least?) then why is so little thought often given to the moves that face our more senior members of society?

These pages consider this question, gleaned from five years experience as a mental health nurse working in an elderly psychiatric team.

reason for referral

The range of problems that health; social services staff; voluntary and other agencies meet in their every day work are well known: they include the effects of physical illnesses and treatments on patient and carer(s); housing difficulties; family breakdown; depression; anxiety; bereavement and addressing the needs of the enduring mentally ill. The more ‘senior’ (what term should I use?) members of the population, of course, face the above list (as if this isn't enough), plus such terrible diseases as dementia.

It is tragic that some of us will spend our lives amassing memories, only to loose them. The words of lovers (young and old) - "I'll never forget you," can be more poignant than we realise.

Memories help make us who we are today, and who we will be in the future:

contented, frustrated, wilful

happy, carefree, aggrieved.

In order to live our daily lives, we need to know three key things:

	WHO we are
WHEN we are
	and WHERE we are
Events that made us who we are now

Here I hope to show that as dementia and confusion takes its toll amid sufferers and those who strive to maintain their loved one's quality of life (and some semblance of their own!), we should not only highlight the plight of these cases, but also acknowledge the value of the memories held and retained by the rest of the elderly populace. Sometimes families think they are finally contributing positively in assisting with a move. This activity makes them feel good. They are demonstrating to:

• themselves
• their loved one
• the rest of the family
• and their friends & wider community

that they care.

Sometimes the best medicine tastes sour, but the worst of medicines can also taste sweet - IN THE END. If this seems gobbledegook then this link consider one formulation of -

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