beware reflex moves

<BODY TEXT="000040" LINK="ff0000" VLINK="7080f0" ALINK="ff0000" BGCOLOR="#FFFFFF"> <P ALIGN="CENTER"><IMG SRC="images/pros.gif" ALT="pros" WIDTH="166" HEIGHT="44"> </P> <TABLE WIDTH="100%"> <TR> <TD WIDTH="3%"></TD> <TD WIDTH="95%"> <P> </P> <TABLE WIDTH="100%"> <TR> <TD WIDTH="70%" COLSPAN="2"> <P ALIGN="CENTER"><A NAME="A"></A><FONT SIZE="+2" FACE="Arial Rounded MT Bold"><B> A is for</B></FONT></P> <FONT SIZE="+4" COLOR="#0080FF" FACE="BigTop">... Adventure</FONT> <P><FONT FACE="Comic Sans MS" SIZE="+1">Where would we all be without a sense of adventure?</FONT></P></TD> <TD WIDTH="164" ALIGN="CENTER"><IMG SRC="images/dicex.gif" ALT="dice" WIDTH="160" HEIGHT="80"></TD> <TD WIDTH="123" ALIGN="LEFT" BGCOLOR="#FFFFFF"><IMG SRC="images/ind.gif" ALT="Hi Dad - Indiana jones - (A (very) DISTANT RELATION)" WIDTH="98" HEIGHT="100"></TD> </TR> </TABLE> <P><A NAME="B"></A> </P> <P ALIGN="CENTER"><FONT SIZE="+2" FACE="Arial Rounded MT Bold"><B>B is for</B></FONT></P> <P ALIGN="CENTER"><FONT SIZE="+5" COLOR="#008040" FACE="Brochure">... BETTER care </FONT></P> <P ALIGN="CENTER"><FONT FACE="Verdana" SIZE="+1">Families do worry, they are concerned, a move can lead to their being more able to care for a relative? Sometimes moving closer isn't about better care as such, it's a case of the reassurance gained to both sides of faster access IF needed.</FONT></P> <P ALIGN="CENTER"><FONT FACE="Verdana" SIZE="+1">It's obviously important to recognise this early on.</FONT><A NAME="C"></A> <BR> <BR></P> <P ALIGN="CENTER"><FONT SIZE="+2" FACE="Arial Rounded MT Bold"><B>C is for</B></FONT><FONT COLOR="#FF0080" SIZE="+4" FACE="Tempus Sans ITC">... church</FONT></P> <TABLE WIDTH="95%"> <TR> <TD WIDTH="20%"><IMG SRC="images/Turn.gif" ALT="weather vane" WIDTH="135" HEIGHT="135"></TD> <TD> <P ALIGN="RIGHT"><FONT FACE="Comic Sans MS" SIZE="+1">If you follow a faith and are about to move, you can usually find support waiting at the new location, such are the communication tools and networking that many organisations - religious and others - now have access to.</FONT></P></TD> </TR> </TABLE> <P ALIGN="LEFT"><FONT COLOR="#FF8040" SIZE="+4" FACE="Tempus Sans ITC">... caring</FONT></P> <P ALIGN="LEFT"><FONT FACE="Verdana" SIZE="+1">A move can make it easier for family to care for you, but it's expectations that count. YOURS and THEIRS. It is vital to check these out. Compare what you do for yourself and what others do for you now. How often do these things happen currently? How often will they happen afterwards, once you have moved? Will your carer(s) really be more able to care? Dol you need that care? Is the care the type you feel that you need?</FONT><A NAME="D"></A> <BR> <BR></P> <TABLE WIDTH="95%"> <TR> <TD WIDTH="287"> <P ALIGN="LEFT"><FONT SIZE="+2" FACE="Arial Rounded MT Bold"><B>D is for</B></FONT></P> <FONT SIZE="+5" FACE="Bassoon" COLOR="#008040">... distance <IMG SRC="images/roadbril.jpg" ALT="Road far as eye can see" ALIGN="RIGHT" WIDTH="104" HEIGHT="161" HSPACE="20"></FONT></TD> <TD VALIGN="BOTTOM" WIDTH="478"> <P><FONT FACE="Comic Sans MS" SIZE="+1">"We'll be able to see more of you. You know how you keep complaining of us travelling on the motorway, and the railway journey is too much for now."</FONT></P> <P><FONT FACE="Comic Sans MS" SIZE="+1"></FONT></P> <P><FONT FACE="Comic Sans MS" SIZE="+1">There are two types of 'distance' here of course. Emotional distance and physical distance - as the crow flies. How more frequently will they visit; how often will you want them to visit, how often will they want to call on you. </FONT><A NAME="E"></A> <BR></P></TD> </TR> </TABLE> <P ALIGN="CENTER"><FONT SIZE="+2" FACE="Arial Rounded MT Bold"><B>E is for </B></FONT><FONT SIZE="+5" COLOR="#FF80C0" FACE="Viner Hand ITC"><B>... empathy</B></FONT></P> <P ALIGN="CENTER"><FONT FACE="Verdana">Does everyone understand you? Do you understand the viewpoint of family, friends whose views may differ from your own? If you think they are the same - how valid is that assumption? Have each of you tried to see the world of the other through their eyes, wearing their shoes, (not literally! :) )</FONT></P> <P><FONT SIZE="+5" COLOR="#FF0000" FACE="Technical">... EMPOWERMENT <IMG SRC="images/rcube.gif" ALT="rubik cude - having the answers" WIDTH="80" HEIGHT="82"></FONT></P> <P ALIGN="LEFT"><FONT FACE="Comic Sans MS">You may well think that if everyone is empowered then nobody would do as they are told, thinking they are in the right. <BR>Empowerment isn't about that exactly. It's having information to help make choices and then being able to assert the choices YOU have made.</FONT><A NAME="F"></A> <BR> <BR></P> <P><FONT SIZE="+2" FACE="Arial Rounded MT Bold"><B>F is for</B></FONT> </P> <P ALIGN="CENTER"><FONT SIZE="+3" FACE="Flexure" COLOR="#008040">... finance<IMG SRC="images/euro.gif" ALT="EURO SYMBOL" WIDTH="60" HEIGHT="60"></FONT> <FONT SIZE="+5" COLOR="#004080">$</FONT><FONT SIZE="+5" COLOR="#FF0000">£</FONT></P> <P ALIGN="CENTER"><FONT FACE="Comic Sans MS"><B>Money can't make you happy, but it helps.</B></FONT></P> <P ALIGN="CENTER"><FONT FACE="Comic Sans MS"><B>After twelve months and more alone, perhaps re-marrying (or not - as the case may be) and moving really does make financial sense - two cars, two rents - household costs, but what does your heart say?</B></FONT></P> <P ALIGN="RIGHT"><FONT SIZE="+3" FACE="LiquidCrystal" COLOR="#0080FF"><IMG SRC="images/columbia.gif" ALT="space shuttle Columbia" WIDTH="100" HEIGHT="144" HSPACE="20">... future</FONT> </P> <P ALIGN="RIGHT"><FONT FACE="Verdana"><B>The FUTURE - belongs to the brave! (R Reagan)</B></FONT></P> <P ALIGN="RIGHT"><FONT FACE="Verdana"><B>If you can 'project yourself into the future' (make plans) then you are halfway there!</B></FONT><A NAME="G"></A> <BR> <BR></P> <P><FONT SIZE="+2" FACE="Arial Rounded MT Bold"><B>G is for</B></FONT> <FONT COLOR="#008040" SIZE="+4">... garden <IMG SRC="images/Garden2.jpg" ALT="shovel" WIDTH="204" HEIGHT="136"></FONT></P> <P><FONT FACE="Comic Sans MS" COLOR="#000080"><B>How is gardening a 'pro'? Well possibly the move relieves you of the pain of seeing your beloved garden that your green fingers can no longer tend to and nurture. <IMG SRC="images/flower.gif" ALT="flower" WIDTH="102" HEIGHT="76">On the other hand the new location has a garden, but it is smaller and help is offered to 'sort it out'. If the garden needs some work, think of the challenge, or if you're physically challenged yourself - think of the joy of ... of ... delegation!</B> <BR> <BR></FONT><A NAME="H"></A></P> <P><FONT SIZE="+2" FACE="Arial Rounded MT Bold"><B>H is for</B></FONT> <FONT SIZE="+4" FACE="Castanet" COLOR="#FF0000">... happiness<IMG SRC="images/smile.gif" ALT="smiley" WIDTH="50" HEIGHT="46" HSPACE="20"></FONT></P> <P><FONT FACE="Arial Rounded MT Bold"><FONT FACE="Verdana">Something to cherish and hold on to - gather up as much as you can - take it with you. Or is happiness where you find it?</FONT> <BR> </FONT></P> <P><FONT COLOR="#800040" SIZE="+4">...<IMG SRC="images/bounchomeWHT.gif" ALT="bouncing home" WIDTH="80" HEIGHT="60"></FONT></P> <P><FONT FACE="Comic Sans MS">Over a decade ago I had to write an essay on what sort of a thing is a HOME? I'm still wondering about that question? In a way this web page owes its existence to that essay and clinical experiences over the years. Part of the answer lies in the fact that I can still contemplate the question - there is no single fixed answer.</FONT></P> <P><FONT FACE="Comic Sans MS">Home? Past, present and future. How often have I entered the home of client where they have lived for forty years and more, you can almost hear the children running in and out. The echoes of lives, people who have moved on to give rise to lives of their own. Now the decor is in a state of disrepair, the porch dad built rotting too late for a lick of paint to save the day. The roses are more thorns now than flowers, bolted and overgrown, no longer Fred's pride and joy. People used to stop and look at Jim's garden, bedecked with a riot of colour. That old kitchen unit was once new. To Alice perhaps it still is. Perhaps I'm just a sentimental fool? A sentiment shared - a memory saved and preserved for another day?</FONT> <BR></P> <P ALIGN="CENTER"><FONT SIZE="+2" FACE="Arial Rounded MT Bold"><B>I is for</B></FONT><FONT SIZE="+5" FACE="Castanet" COLOR="#0080FF"> ... identity & independence</FONT> </P> <P ALIGN="CENTER"><FONT FACE="Verdana">Yes, who do you want to be today? Being independent helps give us a sense of identity. Equally (for mums especially) after decades bringing up a family it can be refreshing to be free of many family ties.</FONT></P> <P ALIGN="RIGHT"><FONT SIZE="+5" FACE="Euromode" COLOR="#800000">... information</FONT></P> <P ALIGN="RIGHT"><FONT FACE="Comic Sans MS">Well done - thanks for visiting. I hope the links section proves interesting, but first please read on.....</FONT></P> <P><FONT SIZE="+4" COLOR="#FF0000" FACE="Bookman Old Style"><A NAME="J"></A>... insight</FONT></P> <IMG SRC="images/3greekhds.jpg" ALT="thinkers" WIDTH="140" HEIGHT="48" ALIGN="LEFT"> <P ALIGN="LEFT"><FONT FACE="Verdana">In the heat of the moment not an easy thing to hold on to, often taken for granted but critical to our normal functioning. Speaking to someone can help you gain insight into the why's and wherfores of your situation. If we don't know our feet are no longer on the ground then it helps to be told. Alternately having the insight and maturity to recognise that perhaps you should make use of the support that is available is equally important.</FONT></P> <P ALIGN="LEFT"><FONT FACE="Verdana">Try not to deny what is so obvious to everyone else.</FONT></P> <P ALIGN="RIGHT"><FONT SIZE="+2" FACE="Arial Rounded MT Bold"><B>J is for</B></FONT> <FONT SIZE="+5" COLOR="#008040" FACE="Viner Hand ITC">... Jokes<IMG SRC="images/smile.gif" ALT="smile" BORDER="0" HSPACE="20" WIDTH="50" HEIGHT="46"></FONT></P> <P ALIGN="RIGHT"><FONT FACE="Comic Sans MS">Don't forget a sense of humour is one of the best tonics - especially when shared.</FONT></P> <P><A NAME="K"></A> <BR> </P> <P ALIGN="LEFT"><FONT SIZE="+2" FACE="Arial Rounded MT Bold"><B>K is for</B></FONT> <FONT FACE="Bahamas" SIZE="+4" COLOR="#FF8000"><I>... Keeping </I></FONT></P> <P ALIGN="LEFT"><FONT FACE="Verdana">up with the Jones'</FONT></P> <P ALIGN="LEFT"><FONT FACE="Verdana">Well why did you move in the past?</FONT><A NAME="L"></A></P> <P ALIGN="CENTER"><FONT SIZE="+2" FACE="Arial Rounded MT Bold"><B>L is for</B></FONT> <FONT COLOR="#8080C0" SIZE="+4" FACE="MS LineDraw">... LIST</FONT> <BR> </P> <P ALIGN="CENTER"><FONT FACE="Comic Sans MS"><B>Don't underestimate the power of the list. But make your lists short - as in things for me to do.... things for you know who - to do...</B></FONT></P> <P ALIGN="CENTER"><FONT FACE="Comic Sans MS"><B>Good enough for shopping, presents and gifts,</B></FONT></P> <P ALIGN="CENTER"><FONT FACE="Comic Sans MS"><B>good enough NOW to weigh up your strengths / weaknesses : for / against.</B></FONT></P> <P ALIGN="CENTER"><FONT COLOR="#FF0000" SIZE="+4" FACE="Beesknees ITC"><IMG SRC="images/heart.GIF" ALT="heart" WIDTH="108" HEIGHT="98">... love</FONT></P> <P ALIGN="CENTER"><FONT FACE="Verdana"><B>It really does make the world go round (see moves below).</B><A NAME="M"></A></FONT> <IMG SRC="../PJ Webs/earth5.gif" ALT="earth" ALIGN="ABSMIDDLE" WIDTH="50" HEIGHT="50"></P> <P ALIGN="RIGHT"><B><FONT SIZE="+2" FACE="Arial Rounded MT Bold">M is for</FONT></B> <FONT FACE="Comic Sans MS" SIZE="+4" COLOR="#0080FF">... MOVES </FONT></P> <P ALIGN="RIGHT"><FONT FACE="Comic Sans MS">Nothing stands still, the sun moves, companies move, people move, and hopefully in our lives the Earth moves ;-) <A NAME="N"></A> <BR></FONT> <BR> </P> <P><FONT SIZE="+2" FACE="Arial Rounded MT Bold"><B>N is for</B></FONT> <FONT SIZE="+4" COLOR="#FF0080" FACE="BravoEngraved">... Nothing</FONT></P> <P ALIGN="LEFT"><FONT FACE="Verdana">Don't take anything for granted.</FONT><A NAME="O"></A> <BR></P> <P ALIGN="CENTER"><FONT SIZE="+2" FACE="Arial Rounded MT Bold" COLOR="#FF0000"><B><FONT COLOR="#000000">O is for</FONT></B></FONT> <FONT SIZE="+5" FACE="Amy" COLOR="#00FF00">... optimism<IMG SRC="images/BOTTLEANI.GIF" ALT="CHAMPERS" WIDTH="50" HEIGHT="150" HSPACE="20"></FONT></P> <P ALIGN="CENTER"><FONT FACE="Comic Sans MS">There must be something good about your situation? (If your are not a born optomist then surround yourself with some.)</FONT> <BR></P> <P><FONT SIZE="+2" FACE="Arial Rounded MT Bold"><B>P is for</B></FONT> <FONT SIZE="+5" FACE="BigTop" COLOR="#FF0000">... pleasures<IMG SRC="images/re-beach.jpg" ALT="beach holiday old photo" WIDTH="169" HEIGHT="116" HSPACE="25"></FONT></P> <P><FONT FACE="Verdana">Make a list of the pleasures in your life (I trust it is a long one), how many are particular to your home now? It may not be the most obvious ones either. For example, gardening (even though you suffer afterwards), smoking your pipe in summer in the garden ("Mary gets her way you know, I still can't smoke in the lounge!"), or chatting to your neighbour Flo over the fence. Your jasmin hedge, and azaleas. The roses planted when you first moved in. Looking through the kitchen window, to watch the sun paint the seasons along the horizon. The sounds that spring is really here, as the children start to play outside.</FONT> </P> <TABLE WIDTH="50%" BGCOLOR="#0080C0"> <TR> <TD WIDTH="331"></TD> <TD WIDTH="250"> <P ALIGN="CENTER"> <FONT SIZE="+5" FACE="BigTop" COLOR="#FFFF00">... positive</FONT></P></TD> <TD WIDTH="372"></TD> </TR> </TABLE> <P ALIGN="CENTER"><FONT FACE="Comic Sans MS">It may be cliche to "think positive" but it helps keep depression at bay.</FONT> </P> <P ALIGN="CENTER"> </P> <TABLE WIDTH="97%"> <TR> <TD> <P><FONT SIZE="+2" FACE="Arial Rounded MT Bold"><B>Q is for</B></FONT> <FONT SIZE="+5" FACE="Maiandra GD" COLOR="#FF8000">... QUALITY OF LIFE</FONT></P></TD> <TD> <P><FONT FACE="Verdana">Yet another clichè these days, much said, so little understood. In the U.K. we will have a measure for QoL soon. Still difficult to measure in very general, basic terms, but any move should serve to improve your quality of life AND hopefully (possibly) that of other family members. </FONT><A NAME="R"></A></P></TD> <TD> <P><IMG SRC="images/morf.gif" ALT="morphing figure man, woman, child, baby" WIDTH="90" HEIGHT="130"></P></TD> </TR> </TABLE> <P><A NAME="Q"></A> <BR> <BR></P> <P ALIGN="CENTER"><FONT SIZE="+2" FACE="Arial Rounded MT Bold"><B>R is for</B></FONT><FONT SIZE="+5" FACE="Bradley Hand ITC" COLOR="#008040"><B>... relaxation</B></FONT></P> <P ALIGN="CENTER"><FONT FACE="Comic Sans MS">Although moving itself is an obvious source of stress, the positive aspects, which you are now considering will at least allow you to relax in the near future - snug as a bug in a rug - (if it's winter). Life will still throw muck in our faces there's no getting away from that. But you have to cope with that, to find the gems hidden along the way. </FONT><A NAME="S"></A> <BR> <BR></P> <P ALIGN="CENTER"><FONT SIZE="+2" FACE="Arial Rounded MT Bold"><B><IMG SRC="images/menDolls.gif" ALT="linked paper dolls" WIDTH="100" HEIGHT="100" HSPACE="23">S is for</B></FONT> <FONT SIZE="+5" FACE="BahamasHeavy" COLOR="#FF0000">... security</FONT> <IMG SRC="images/menDolls.gif" ALT="linked paper dolls" WIDTH="100" HEIGHT="100" HSPACE="30"></P> <P ALIGN="CENTER"><FONT FACE="Verdana">Being burgled is obviously a very traumatic and shocking event that can can radically alter our perception of a place, and that includes 'home'. Overnight or even immediately what was home becomes alien to us. Moving under these circumstances can be a major relief.</FONT></P> <P ALIGN="CENTER"><FONT FACE="Verdana">(Just be realistic - you may still not feel as secure as expected even if your son or daughter is four miles away instead of 25.</FONT></P> <P ALIGN="CENTER"><FONT FACE="Verdana">If everyone needs a 'buffer' zone, how far is reasonable, comfortable, practicable?)</FONT></P> <P><FONT SIZE="+5" FACE="Arial Rounded MT Bold" COLOR="#FF0080">... support & <IMG SRC="images/gear.gif" ALT="gears - smooth running services!" WIDTH="120" HEIGHT="80">services</FONT></P> <P><FONT FACE="Comic Sans MS">Don't be too proud to make use of any support that is available. Indeed, if your needs and those of any carers (relatives, friends, etc.) are taken into account services may be provided that mean you don't actually need to move. It is one of those very difficult issues - people want to fight for their independence, to "stay in their home," and yet the support services are there to help support home care - community care.</FONT><A NAME="T"></A> <BR></P> <TABLE WIDTH="98%"> <TR> <TD WIDTH="263"> <P ALIGN="RIGHT"><FONT SIZE="+2" FACE="Arial Rounded MT Bold"><B>T is for</B></FONT></P></TD> <TD WIDTH="381"><FONT SIZE="+5" COLOR="#008040" FACE="Arial Rounded MT Bold"> ... telephone</FONT></TD> <TD WIDTH="322" ALIGN="CENTER"><IMG SRC="images/phone.gif" ALT="phone" ALIGN="RIGHT" WIDTH="108" HEIGHT="101"></TD> </TR> </TABLE> <P ALIGN="CENTER"><FONT FACE="Lucida Handwriting" SIZE="+3" COLOR="#FF0000"><B>It really is good to talk.</B><A NAME="U"></A> </FONT> <BR></P> <P><FONT SIZE="+2" FACE="Arial Rounded MT Bold"><B>U is for</B></FONT> <FONT SIZE="+5" FACE="Arial Rounded MT Bold" COLOR="#FF8000">... upstairs</FONT> <IMG SRC="images/home-stairs-white.gif" ALT="stairs a risk factor" WIDTH="120" HEIGHT="120"></P> <P><FONT FACE="Verdana"><B>Are you moving to a ground floor flat? A relief from fear of falling, and all those broken promises to family (you know - the trips upstairs for this and that - that they never knew about), and those 'near misses' that the community nurse heard about. </B><A NAME="V"></A> <BR></FONT> <BR> </P> <P ALIGN="CENTER"><FONT SIZE="+2" FACE="Arial Rounded MT Bold"><B>V is for</B></FONT><FONT SIZE="+5" COLOR="#8080FF" FACE="Avalon"> ... vision</FONT> <IMG SRC="images/GLASSES.gif" ALT="glasses" WIDTH="290" HEIGHT="142"></P> <P ALIGN="CENTER"><FONT FACE="Comic Sans MS"><BR> <B>Who, where, when and why you want to be. <BR>How do you want to get there?</B></FONT></P> <P ALIGN="CENTER"><FONT FACE="Comic Sans MS"><IMG SRC="images/jetort.gif" ALT="jet powered tortoise"> <A NAME="W"></A> <BR> <BR></FONT></P> <P><FONT SIZE="+2" FACE="Arial Rounded MT Bold"><B>W is for</B></FONT> <FONT SIZE="+5" FACE="Carleton" COLOR="#008040">... well being</FONT></P> <P><FONT FACE="Verdana"><B>Hopefully all is well with 'your' world not just you.</B> <BR></FONT></P> <P ALIGN="RIGHT"><FONT SIZE="+5" FACE="Keystrokes MT" COLOR="#FF0000"><FONT FACE="Koala"><IMG SRC="images/connect.gif" ALT="connected computers" WIDTH="34" HEIGHT="34" HSPACE="30">...</FONT> WWW</FONT></P> <P ALIGN="RIGHT"><FONT FACE="Comic Sans MS"><B>I had to include this one.</B> According to Internet Magazine more people aged 55+ are taking up the Internet. <BR> </FONT><A NAME="X"></A></P> <P ALIGN="LEFT"><FONT SIZE="+2" FACE="Arial Rounded MT Bold"><B>X is for</B></FONT> <FONT SIZE="+5" FACE="Castanet" COLOR="#FF0000">eXciting </FONT></P> <P ALIGN="LEFT"><FONT FACE="Verdana">Amid all the hullabaloo and stress of moving, it's a shame to miss the excitement of it all. <BR> <BR></FONT><A NAME="Y"></A></P> <P ALIGN="CENTER"><FONT SIZE="+2" FACE="Arial Rounded MT Bold"><B>Y is for</B></FONT> <FONT SIZE="+5" FACE="Arial Rounded MT Bold" COLOR="#408080">You! <IMG SRC="images/gull.gif" ALT="gull" WIDTH="215" HEIGHT="71"></FONT></P> <P ALIGN="CENTER"><FONT FACE="Comic Sans MS"><B> Must be in control, or feel able to trust fully those acting on your behalf.</B><A NAME="Z"></A> <BR> <BR></FONT></P> <P><FONT SIZE="+2" FACE="Arial Rounded MT Bold"><B>Z is for</B></FONT> <FONT SIZE="+5" FACE="Verdana" COLOR="#008040">... ?</FONT></P> <P><FONT FACE="Verdana"><B> What about zzzzzzzzzz! For a good night sleep - knowing you have done the right thing whatever you have done?</B> <BR> </FONT></P> </TD> <TD WIDTH="2%"></TD> </TR> </TABLE> <P ALIGN="center"><FONT COLOR="#000000"><A HREF="#top"><IMG SRC="images/topbr1.jpg" ALT="top of document" ALIGN="MIDDLE" WIDTH="55" HEIGHT="39"></A></FONT></P> <IMG SRC="images/bar.jpg" ALT="rule" ALIGN="MIDDLE" WIDTH="418" HEIGHT="47"> </BODY>